Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
RON WHITEI’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
More Ron White Quotes
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
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I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
RON WHITE