I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITEYou can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
More Ron White Quotes
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
RON WHITE






