black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.

Ron White

I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE

Chill Critical Keep Product Spaghetti
I go through about 140 cities a year.
RON WHITE

City Go Through Yera
Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
RON WHITE

Anything Consider Live Quality Show Stage Television Work
My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
RON WHITE

Funny Intent Preach Preacher Stage Uncle Use Watch
I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
RON WHITE

Central Comedy Enjoy Watch
I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
RON WHITE

Always Comedian Popular Want
Comedy is all about the pause.
RON WHITE

Al Comedy Pause
My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
RON WHITE

Behaviour Derive Enough Life Many Need Out Probably Problem Story Wild Year
I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITE

Ability Remain Right Silent
My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
RON WHITE

Between Brain Colander Cross Leak Slow
I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
RON WHITE

Child Comedy Fan Huge
Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
RON WHITE

Blue Fine Just Like Material Mother
There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
RON WHITE

Angel Attack Comedy Concert Idea Leave Punch Some
Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
RON WHITE

Anytime Bit Fan Friend Get Good Help Pretty Riter Ultimately
Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
RON WHITE

Day Doing Eighteen Fifteen Hour Movie Television Thing
I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
RON WHITE

Feel Get Today Tomorrow Worry

You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Ron White Quotes