All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
RON WHITEYou can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
More Ron White Quotes
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
RON WHITE