I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITEI get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
More Ron White Quotes
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I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don’t need my help.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
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You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
RON WHITE