There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITEMy goal is just to become a better comedian.
More Ron White Quotes
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I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
RON WHITE