The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITEI write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
More Ron White Quotes
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
RON WHITE