Humour Quotes

An assorted collection of quotes on Humour with high quality images that will help you to relate with the right words. Quotes are the rythmical creation of words. Download and share this collection of Humour quotes with your firiends, family and loved ones on social media platforms.

How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?
DR. SEUSS

Birthday Flow Goodness Humour Late Time
Never memorize something that you can look up.
ALBERT EINSTEIN

Humour One Liner Science
Uninvited guests are often most welcome when they leave.
AESOP

Guest Humour Invitation Leaving Welcome
My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY

Alcohol Humour Regret Wine
When the solution is simple, God is answering.
ALBERT EINSTEIN

God Humour One Liner Pain Problem Solution
All Earthquakes and Disasters are warnings; there’s too much corruption in the world.
ARISTOTLE

Corruption Disaster Earthquake Funny Humour Politics Warning
Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
MAE WEST

Happiness Humour Pistol Pocket
The secret to humor is surprise.
ARISTOTLE

Humour One Liner Secret Surprise
Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you are making too much money.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Drug God Humour Money
A bitch is a bitch but a dog is a mans best friend
BILLIE EILISH

Best Friend Bitch Dog Funny Humour Man
No good deed goes unpunished.
OSCAR WILDE

Deed Goodness Humour One Liner Punishment
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
COCO CHANEL

Amuse Humour Life Live One Liner
Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
MARK TWAIN

Eat Frog Funny Humour Morning
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Bacteria Beer Freedom Funny Humour Water Wine Wisdom
Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Creature Humour Politics
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.
MAYA ANGELOU

Girl Humour Inspirational Kick Life Love World Young
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
MARK TWAIN

Give Up Human Nature Humour Smoking Time World
The soul never thinks without a mental picture.
ARISTOTLE

Humour Mind One Liner Soul Thinking
Few people know how to take a walk. The qualifications are endurance, plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature, good humor, vast curiosity, good speech, good silence and nothing too much.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Curosity Endurance Humour Inspirational Nature Pain People Qualification Shoes Silence Walk
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Challenge Hard Time Humour Inspirational Situation
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
MARK TWAIN

Humour Religion Wisdom
The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.
BILL GATES

Born Exist Humour Problem Technology
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAIN

Education God Humour Idiot Practice School
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
MARK TWAIN

Fun Funny Human Nature Humour Kiding
If we do an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, we will be a blind and toothless nation.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR

Blind Eyes Funny Humour Nation Teeth
Whenever I feel the need to take some exercise I lie down until the feeling goes away.
WINSTON CHURCHILL

Exercise Feeling Gymnastic Humour Lazy Need
Someone once said that every man is trying to live up to his father’s expectations or make up for their father’s mistakes.
BARACK OBAMA

Expectation Father Humour Live Man Mistake Try

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