Funny Quotes
You don’t love me, you just love my doggystyle.
Snoop DoggSnoop Dogg If your thighs touch, don’t be scared. They are just kissing; it’s a love affair.
Danielle MontgomeryDanielle Montgomery Look, if I’d wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I’d have gone to bed with Martin Luther.
Rowan AtkinsonRowan Atkinson It isn’t what I do, but how I do it. It isn’t what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.
Mae WestMae West The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
Steven WrightSteven Wright Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There’s plenty of movement, but you never know if it’s going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.
H. Jackson Brown Jr.H. Jackson Brown Jr. I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.
Arthur AsheArthur Ashe I was an idiot when I was a kid.
Kobe BryantKobe Bryant The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.
Robin WilliamsRobin Williams I like meeting all my fans and signing autographs, although it can all get a bit crazy. Yesterday, for example, a boy just came over and planted a big kiss on my face! I was like, Hello?
Britney SpearsBritney Spears If I were straight and I were trying to seduce a woman, I could do it just by standing up at the table when she came back from the bathroom. It works. Every time I do that, all the straight men are sitting at the table and their wives are kicking them. “Look at that!” “You never do that for me!”
Tom FordTom Ford One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx Room service? Send up a larger room.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx During my school days, I was doing a play, and my costume fell on the stage. I really wish it didn’t happen.
Virat KohliVirat Kohli I find it so funny that people find me interesting.
Britney SpearsBritney Spears One fool can ask more questions in a minute than 12 wise men can answer in an hour.
Vladimir LeninVladimir Lenin