Funny Quotes
Behind every great man there stands a great woman. Behind every great woman is a great behind.
Bill ClintonBill Clinton Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.
Dalai LamaDalai Lama I’m just a fun guy.
Post MalonePost Malone When I do something stupid with money and lose it, I call that Stupid Tax. I have paid so much Stupid Tax that I am expert.
Dave RamseyDave Ramsey No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
Erma BombeckErma Bombeck Whenever someone refers to me as someone “who happens to be black,” I wonder if they realize that both my parents are black. If I had turned out to be Scandinavian or Chinese, people would have wondered what was going on.
Thomas SowellThomas Sowell The last 29 days of the month are the toughest!
Nikola TeslaNikola Tesla When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
Erma BombeckErma Bombeck It’s funny because what happens to me when I read a script, when something grabs hold of me, I start getting these flashes of people or places or things or images.
Johnny DeppJohnny Depp Making a decision to write was a lot like deciding to jump into a frozen lake.
Maya AngelouMaya Angelou You don’t love me, you just love my doggystyle.
Snoop DoggSnoop Dogg If your thighs touch, don’t be scared. They are just kissing; it’s a love affair.
Danielle MontgomeryDanielle Montgomery Look, if I’d wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I’d have gone to bed with Martin Luther.
Rowan AtkinsonRowan Atkinson It isn’t what I do, but how I do it. It isn’t what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.
Mae WestMae West The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
Steven WrightSteven Wright Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There’s plenty of movement, but you never know if it’s going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.
H. Jackson Brown Jr.H. Jackson Brown Jr.