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Funny Quotes
900 quotes
Short funny quotes from writers, poets and thinkers. Copy one, share it, or download it as an image.
You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.
Robin WilliamsRobin Williams The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, ‘Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and yelling, You want a piece of me?
Robin WilliamsRobin Williams Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
Groucho MarxGroucho Marx There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.
Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood Marriage: A word which should be pronounced ‘mirage’.
Herbert SpencerHerbert Spencer Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.
Emo PhilipsEmo Philips True love is letting her know that her ass really does look fat in those jeans.
Tony CobleTony Coble I love only one girl, one in every town.
Elvis PresleyElvis Presley I will never give up on you, from a person who treats like crap is not sweet. It’s toxic and you gotta run!
Shreya JoshiShreya Joshi Funny how it kept hitting me, like each new thing was a surprise. When was I going to stop being surprised?
Stephenie MeyerStephenie Meyer - Next pagePage 33 of 90
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