Funny Quotes

I think football is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

It’s curious that only in Washington can you spend $2 billion and claim that you’re saving money.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

Love, you mock us for your sport.

When you’re putting good stuff into your body, you feel so much better.

I phoned my grandparents and my grandfather said ‘We saw your movie.’ ‘Which one?’ I said. He shouted ‘Betty, what was the name of that movie I didn’t like?

What is politics? Political system is equal to development politics plus political politics.

You have to make the rules, not follow them.

I’m amazed every time I come back to Vancouver at how much it’s changed. You go away for a month and there’s three more skyscrapers.

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.