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Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

P. J. O'Rourke

Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Achieve Attempt Merit Politics Power Prestige
Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Endless Foreigner God Lousy Politics Right Wrong
I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Earn Earring Mom Pubescent Sensitive Some Tongue Toug Twerp
Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bote Careless Conceal Every Bote Harmful Number Serial Trace Vote
Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn’t exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Advocate Animal Association Head Lice National Own Prediculosis
Everybody is xenophobic to an extent.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Everybody Extent Xenophobia
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Ask Came Children Form Go Grow Know Tell
Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Belt Cigarette Government Hazard Helth Kill Many More People Set
We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren’t there.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Behind Bench Election House Official Seat Senate Chair Whole
If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Death Heard Shock Somebody Starved
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Give Government Money Poer Teenage Whiskey
Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Birthday Card Christmas Funeral Funny Greeting Need Save Send
Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Great Hubris One Renewable Resource
I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Event Favour Fiction Grace History Kind Please Write
People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it’s simply a measurement.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bathroom Market None People Philosophy Scale Thing Think Those
Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Black People Reformer Some Think Voter

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

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Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

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