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If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.

P. J. O'Rourke

Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Balck Believe Country Despite People Vehemently
America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Better Country Damned Found Please
I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Around Brown Country Dog Everything Except House Kid Look
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Adult Deal Great Health Mind Other Slow Spoil Turn Word Young
The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Brilliant Everything Midwest Most Notice Proposal Satire Straightforward Time
Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
P. J. O'ROURKE

College Seriousness Stupiditym Sent
You’re never going to read ‘The Wealth of Nations,’ and you shouldn’t, really. It’s 900 pages.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Going Hundred Nation Nine Page Read Reality Wealth
Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Fault Invent Liberal Major Psychology Sociology Study Women
The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Better Body Forever Lesson Often Older Presence Sort Teach Thing
The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.
P. J. O'ROURKE

According Everything Good News President Richm Pay
By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Country End Ernt Reliable Say Thousand
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Carefully Child Children Concert Explain Inform Make Threaten Young
Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Always Build Machinery Once One Political Remember Rum
Global warming is a fact. Now it’s up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Fact Global Greedy Importance Make Powerful Prevent Reality Warming
I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Automobile Business Country Remember Shift Toward
The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Classroom Problem Public School Underfund Union
Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Appeal Effective Itself Organization Powerful Response Right Social Sometimes
I read good. I was an English major.
P. J. O'ROURKE

English Good Major Read
Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Dosproven Fact Mindless Opinion People Some
No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Archive Career Doubt Politics Profession Ridiculous Right Success
When you’re a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, ‘Gee, I wouldn’t want to be doing that.’ They’re on your side.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Correspondent Do Person Reader Say That Want
Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Box Domino Eat Many Pizza Slice Wealth
I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Favor Invasion Mush
Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bureaucracy Dispose Dump Government Propose
Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bit Difficult Express Fiction Government More Past Size Something
Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Good Make Nobody
Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Irritate Let More Nuisance Other President

If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.

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If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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