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Everybody is xenophobic to an extent.

P. J. O'Rourke

You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Critics Most President Serve Something Stupid Usually
Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Business Cancer Country Nice Place Show Southern Spread
Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Hope Ideology Imptent Journalism Joy Luxuniate Politics
Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Enough Jail Limit Need Term
Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Benefit Bring Hero People Rich Wealth
No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Collapse Daily False Industry Journalism Memory Print
Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Fight Inanimate never Object
When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Only Shout
The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Behave Four Go Look Normal Reverse Ring Three Weider
If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Care Expensive Free Health Now Think Wait
I read good. I was an English major.
P. J. O'ROURKE

English Good Major Read
Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that’s when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Done Endless Foreigner God Like Lousy Party Politics School Some Thing Wrong
Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Destabilize Nation Religious
Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bay Country Effect Small Tribe
Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Irritate Let More Nuisance Other President
The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the ’70s. The reason was that prior relationships had not endured the strain of war.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Divorce Prior Rate Reason Relation Seventy Until Veen
Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Edit Simply Surrender
New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State’s registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they’re going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can’t understand what they say.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Independent New Poll Registered Republican Unreliable
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Government Illegal Product Sell
Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bad Family Love Messy Pattern Wallpaper
Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Balck Believe Country Despite People Vehemently
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Again Born Cow Dairy Hunt Make Scope
Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it’s got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It’s not pretty. But it’s striking, I’ll give it that. It’s not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Actual City Country Give Kind Nearly Over Pretty Strik Top
There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Away Men never One Sie Sooner Take Thing Women
Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Birthday Card Christmas Funeral Funny Greeting Need Save Send
America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Better Country Damned Found Please
Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Better Boomer Generation Hope Millennial Run

Everybody is xenophobic to an extent.

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Everybody is xenophobic to an extent.

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