“There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.”

What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it’s so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I’ve received a spam text.

No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.

All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.

I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.

Rich people don’t like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don’t go in much for revolution or terrorism, either.

Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.

I read good. I was an English major.

Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.

You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.

Regulation creates a moral hazard.

Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.

Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.

Global warming is a fact. Now it’s up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step.

Never bet against a cat.

How come liberals never admit that they’re liberal? They’ve now come up with a new word called ‘progressive,’ which I thought was an insurance company but apparently it’s a label.

I needed him like i’d never needed anyone.

The worst mistake of a woman is to go to the kitchen, because then she never gets out of there.

I don’t get jealousy, I don’t get how people hate each other – I never did.

Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.

(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.