Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn’t matter.
P. J. O'ROURKEAnyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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There isn’t much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.
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Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
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When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
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I believe in God. God created the world.
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Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it’s got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It’s not pretty. But it’s striking, I’ll give it that. It’s not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly.
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Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
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We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren’t there.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
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By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
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Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it.
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America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being ‘hegemonistic’, of engaging in ‘unilateralism’, of behaving as if we’re the only nation on earth that counts. We are.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
P. J. O'ROURKE