There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.

P. J. O'ROURKE

black
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There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.

P. J. O'Rourke

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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.

P. J. O'ROURKE

No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Answer Literacy Obligation Probably Under
Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Best Bought Journalism Popular Thing
People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.

P. J. O'ROURKE

People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Ant Bee Collective
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

P. J. O'ROURKE

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
P. J. O'ROURKE

First Legislator Sell Sold
I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.

P. J. O'ROURKE

I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Carpenter Make Thing Wood
Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Long Married Ter
If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.

P. J. O'ROURKE

If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Expensive Free Now Think
My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.

P. J. O'ROURKE

My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Dad Fellow Haste Marry Mom
We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren’t there.

P. J. O'ROURKE

We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren’t there.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Behind Official Senate Chair Whole
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

P. J. O'ROURKE

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Chief Device Increase Mechanical Number Particularly
We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.

P. J. O'ROURKE

We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
P. J. O'ROURKE
Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Explosion Started
Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Broken Like More Probably Sensible
Never wear anything that panics the cat.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything never
Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How’d they get so rich? Because they’re free.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How’d they get so rich? Because they’re free.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Free Nokia Phone Plywood
Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anticatalist Occupy Thank

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There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.

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