Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
P. J. O'ROURKEPolitical systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don’t draft people; it’s not jury duty.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
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The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren’t carried out at the bidding of a few malefactors of great wealth.
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In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
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What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it’s so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I’ve received a spam text.
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There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
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Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
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Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn’t matter.
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Regulation creates a moral hazard.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
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Everybody is xenophobic to an extent.
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Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
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Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
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Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it’s got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It’s not pretty. But it’s striking, I’ll give it that. It’s not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
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Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.
P. J. O'ROURKE