I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
NORM MACDONALDYou know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
NORM MACDONALD