There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
NORM MACDONALDYou know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
NORM MACDONALD