We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
NORM MACDONALDYou know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD