In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALDYou know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD






