Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
NORM MACDONALDWhen people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
NORM MACDONALD -
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
NORM MACDONALD -
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
NORM MACDONALD -
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD -
Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
NORM MACDONALD -
I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
NORM MACDONALD -
The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
NORM MACDONALD -
I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
NORM MACDONALD