Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
NORM MACDONALDFew are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
NORM MACDONALD