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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

Norm MacDonald

I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
NORM MACDONALD

Care Exercise Preference Sex Win Yourself
Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
NORM MACDONALD

Action Change Practice Principle Thinking
We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
NORM MACDONALD

Danger Fear Ourselves Philosophy Situation Suffering
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Identity Joke Myself Perfection
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
NORM MACDONALD

Alcohol Bad Drink Hard Time Life
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
NORM MACDONALD

Better Ignorance Knowledge Philosophy
They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
NORM MACDONALD

Afraid Dog Funny Identity Myself Reality Worry
The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
NORM MACDONALD

Adversity Friendship Oneself Prosperity Reason True
Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD

Advice Man Opinion
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
NORM MACDONALD

Care Carry Force Limitation Restriction Worst Youth
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Funny Material Myself Protection Value
It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
NORM MACDONALD

Deep Necessary Tolerance
With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
NORM MACDONALD

Abandonment Ambitious Defeat Failure Occasion Philosophy Purpose
A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD

Education Idiot People Poor Rich Stupidity Writing
This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Greatness Money
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Day Death Funny Hospital Man Myself Old Sick

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

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