Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
NORM MACDONALDFew are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
NORM MACDONALD