Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
NORM MACDONALDYeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
NORM MACDONALD