Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
NORM MACDONALDI don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
NORM MACDONALD