Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
NORM MACDONALDThe first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
NORM MACDONALD