We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
NORM MACDONALDThe first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
NORM MACDONALD






