When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
NORM MACDONALDIn love, we are best pleased when we please others.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
NORM MACDONALD