Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
LILY TOMLINIf beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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We are all in this together, by ourselves.
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Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.
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When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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Remember we’re all in this alone.
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Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
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Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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If you can’t be direct, why be?
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There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
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I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
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Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
LILY TOMLIN