If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
LILY TOMLINI always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
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No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.
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Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
LILY TOMLIN -
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN -
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN -
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN -
If you can’t be direct, why be?
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN -
If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
LILY TOMLIN