If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
LILY TOMLINI always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
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I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
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What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
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Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.
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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
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Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
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For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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If you can’t be direct, why be?
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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
LILY TOMLIN