Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
LILY TOMLINI feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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If you can’t be direct, why be?
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Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
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Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
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We are all in this together, by ourselves.
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I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
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To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
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Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
LILY TOMLIN






