We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLINTo me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
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You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
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I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
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Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
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Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
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There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
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We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
LILY TOMLIN






