After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLINEvery day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
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Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
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I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
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To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
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Remember we’re all in this alone.
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
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Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
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If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN