When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
LILY TOMLINWhat goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
-
-
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN -
There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
LILY TOMLIN -
Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLIN -
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
LILY TOMLIN -
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN -
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN -
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
LILY TOMLIN -
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
LILY TOMLIN -
If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
LILY TOMLIN -
Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
LILY TOMLIN -
My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
LILY TOMLIN -
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
LILY TOMLIN -
Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
LILY TOMLIN -
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN -
What if it’s boring – or if it’s not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
LILY TOMLIN