I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
LILY TOMLINWhat goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
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The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
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Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
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I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
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Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
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Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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What if it’s boring – or if it’s not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
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Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN