Happiness, at my age, is breathing
JOAN RIVERSA Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: “Run your own race, put on your blinders.”
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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Life is so tough. I don’t know how old you are, but I’ve seen so much in a wink. One phone call and your life is changed forever. We all know that. You better laugh at everything.
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On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
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I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to ‘ripley’s believe it or not’ – they sent it back and said, “we don’t believe it.”
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
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I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’
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People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: ‘We will laugh tomorrow about this.’ And you do.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.
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Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
JOAN RIVERS -
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERS -
When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn’t wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, “Why can’t you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can’t you be like your cousin Shelia?” Shelia had died at birth.
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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
JOAN RIVERS