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Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.

Joan Rivers

If you can’t make fun of yourself, you don’t have any right to make fun of others.
JOAN RIVERS

Fun Right Yourself
The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.
JOAN RIVERS

Age Book Fashion Myself Woman
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “pick up, I know you’re there.”
JOAN RIVERS

Bond Daughter Family Mom Myself Relationship Talk Yourself
Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target.
JOAN RIVERS

Age Hard Move Old Target
I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Humor Husband Marriage Myself
I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
JOAN RIVERS

Born Myself Room
Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you’re okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.
JOAN RIVERS

Angry Comedy Yourself
Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.
JOAN RIVERS

Hard Time Remember Revenge Survive
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.
JOAN RIVERS

Alive Bad Care Enjoyment Goodness Life Myself
The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you’re acting; listen only to yourself.
JOAN RIVERS

Act Listening Rule Survive Thinking Yourself
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you’re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
JOAN RIVERS

Acceptance Funny Luck Old Oneself
I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
JOAN RIVERS

Hell Holy Water
Here’s a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.
JOAN RIVERS

Enough Thankful Yourself
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
JOAN RIVERS

Negative Perspective Thinking Train
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.
JOAN RIVERS

Appearance Funny Myself
I’m no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
JOAN RIVERS

Cook Food Myself

Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.

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Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.

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