The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God’s children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
H. L. MENCKENDon’t overestimate the decency of the human race.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
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On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
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The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it’s good-bye to the Bill of Rights.
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The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is true because he gets pleasure out of it.
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The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
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Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
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A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
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Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true.
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
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Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
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The ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.
H. L. MENCKEN






