The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.
H. L. MENCKENDon’t overestimate the decency of the human race.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God’s children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
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Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
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People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
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It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron.
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The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one’s time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
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Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
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It doesn’t take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.
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Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
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If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
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Sometimes the idiots outvote the sensible people.
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You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
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When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
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Don’t overestimate the decency of the human race.
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The State doesn’t just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey.
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No professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.
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Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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When fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
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Always remember this: If you don’t attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.
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A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic passion.
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Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done.
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The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.
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It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
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The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.
H. L. MENCKEN