“Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.”

The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.

The central belief of every moron is that he is the victim of a mysterious conspiracy against his common rights and true deserts.

Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.

After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done.

There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.

It doesn’t take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.

Don’t overestimate the decency of the human race.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.

Find you someone that looks at you like I look at the animated pigeon version of myself

In true love, you attain freedom.

Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream.

To be free. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world.

It is awful to want to go away and to want to go nowhere.

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.

Money is an important thing in terms of representing freedom in our world.

A man who believes in freedom will do anything under the sun to acquire, or preserve his freedom.