At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNSIf it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
More George Burns Quotes
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS -
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS






