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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

George Burns

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Die Few Got Hundred Made One Past People Very
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS

Bed Make Money Stay
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS

Better Failure Hate Honesty Something Success
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS

Be Know Learn Quick Wise
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Anywhere Here Nice
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS

Five Pimple Retirement Ridiculous Sixty
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Ninty Pool Sex Shoot Tope
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS

Because Future Go Life Look Rest Spend
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS

Afford Die Lose Money Much Too
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS

Bad Cigar Depend Good Handle Happiness Much Woman
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Anywhere Please Simple
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS

Down Else Get Stoop While Wonder
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS

Ask Avoid Important Longevity Most Say Single Tension
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS

And Bad Enough Good IT Pay Script
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS

Drink Drunk Fourteenth Remember Take Thirteen Trouble
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS

Begining Close End Good Have Possible Secret Together

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

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