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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

George Burns

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS

Down Finally First Forget Name Net Pull Zipper
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS

Down Else Get Stoop While Wonder
How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS

Book Die How
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Anywhere Eight Good Here Ninty
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Anywhere Here Nice
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS

Believe Besides Book Die Down Exist New Now
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS

Came Down Everything Goes Time Up When
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS

Air Clean Dirty Remember Sex
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS

Fake Got Honesty Important Made Most Thing
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS

Because Future Go Life Look Rest Spend
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS

Bad Cigar Depend Good Handle Happiness Much Woman
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS

Begining Close End Good Have Possible Secret Together
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS

Ask Avoid Important Longevity Most Say Single Tension
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Fidteenm Cigar Hold Smoke Something
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS

Aur Change Clean Dirty Hard Remember These Used
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS

Age No Out Women Worth

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

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