If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNSActing is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
More George Burns Quotes
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS






