I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNSThe most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
More George Burns Quotes
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS