I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNSThe most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
More George Burns Quotes
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS