It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNSI’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
More George Burns Quotes
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS






