I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNSI’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
More George Burns Quotes
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS






