Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNSI’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
More George Burns Quotes
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS






