It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNSI’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
More George Burns Quotes
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS