First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNSI honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
More George Burns Quotes
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS