Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNSI honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
More George Burns Quotes
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS -
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS