My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZAsk your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You’re only as good as your last haircut.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ