Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZAsk your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You’re only as good as your last haircut.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Polite conversation is rarely either.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
FRAN LEBOWITZ