I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
FRAN LEBOWITZChildren are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
FRAN LEBOWITZ