Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZChildren are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
FRAN LEBOWITZ