All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
FRAN LEBOWITZVegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ