I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZVegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






