Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZGreat people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
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I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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My favorite animal is steak.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZ