The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZGreat people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZ