My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECKGiving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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He who laughs lasts.
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Children make your life important.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK