Every puppy should have a boy.
ERMA BOMBECKGiving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
ERMA BOMBECK