Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECKAs a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK -
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
ERMA BOMBECK -
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK