I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
ERMA BOMBECKIt is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK -
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK -
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK -
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK -
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECK -
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Cats invented self-esteem.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK