My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
ERMA BOMBECKIt is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Children make your life important.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK